Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
