I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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