So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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