Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
