You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
