So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
