yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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