i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
It's never too late to be topless.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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