Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
