Kiss
Puke
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
