End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
