pop tarts are not kleenex
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
