sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
