The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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