It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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