Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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