just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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