i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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