I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It's never too late to be topless.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
