I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize