i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
