its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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