then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We are two peas in an std pod
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
