I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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