just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
