i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
