If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
