do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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