i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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