He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
