i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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