Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
