Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
That accounts for only three of the penises
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
