I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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