just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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