you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
