I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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