BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
be right there i have to get my cape
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
