Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize