Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
