So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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