First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
