This is the prime rib incident all over again
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize