Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
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