so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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