He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
