I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
