just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
How's work?
Spinning.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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