she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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