there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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