Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
