dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
