I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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