maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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