so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
