bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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