I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
