i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
