Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
They took my balls.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
