I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I think your dad took our porno
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
