So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
