so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
