I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
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